TWO articles ago, we touched on the topic of public speaking.                                                                                         
Today, we look at the other side of the coin-listening.                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                      
For a manager, listening is not confined to meetings and                                                                                              
seminars, but also in their daily work conversations talking                                                                                          
to clients, friends and family.                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                      
While we have been listening from young, many of us do not                                                                                            
really listen but tend only to hear. Just because you are not                                                                                         
talking does not mean you are listening, for active listening                                                                                         
involves receiving, organising, interpreting and responding to                                                                                        
the information you have just heard.                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                      
Few of us have been taught or given tips on effective                                                                                                 
listening. The American Psychological Association was told by                                                                                         
Prof Pacel Cameron that a quiet lecture hall does not mean                                                                                            
that people were listening. If a gun was fired periodically                                                                                           
and students were told to encode their thoughts, the following                                                                                        
would be the breakdown:                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                      
Some 20 per cent of the men and women would be "lost" in                                                                                    
erotic thoughts, another 20 per cent would be reminiscing                                                                                             
something (last night's dinner, movie, etc), 20 per cent would                                                                                        
be paying attention to the lecture, with eight per cent of                                                                                            
them daydreaming, worrying, thinking about lunch-and only 12                                                                                          
per cent actually listening.                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                                      
Tony Buzan, well known for his contribution to mind-mapping,                                                                                          
brain research and work on adult learning, says that people                                                                                           
will listen for 90 minutes but their retention period is only                                                                                         
20 minutes. It would be good for members of the audience and                                                                                          
speakers alike to bear this in mind.                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                      
When listening, it would be good to empathise with the                                                                                                
speaker, try and put yourself in his shoes. Give the person a                                                                                         
chance, hear him out.                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                      
You could be distracted by "external noise," even the                                                                                       
appearance or clothing of the speaker. Colours like hot pink                                                                                          
or orange do that; try and take your thoughts away from it.                                                                                           
you will realise that this has very little to do with the                                                                                             
quality of the talk.                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                      
Don't get angry or "worked up" with something the speaker                                                                                   
says. This would certainly stop you from listening to him                                                                                             
further, for you would be busy thinking he is a "stupid fool"                                                                               
or "who invited him?"                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                      
Listening means that we would pay attention to both facts and                                                                                         
ideas; we do not shut out one for the other. Some of us are so                                                                                        
busy recording everything the speaker says that at times we do                                                                                        
not allow the speech to sink in or miss the point altogether.                                                                                         
Therefore, it would be better to jot down points and listen to                                                                                        
the discourse.                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                      
Do not do anything to distract the speaker (like continuously                                                                                         
talking to your friend) or be a party to such distractions. We                                                                                        
think up to 600 words per minute, hear 400 words as against                                                                                           
the speaking speed of an average person which is between 125                                                                                          
and 140 words per minute.                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                                      
So the listener would have to find ways to occupy excess time,                                                                                        
for example, evaluate or summarise what the speaker has said.                                                                                         
one could also relate this to something that we have read or                                                                                          
heard.                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                      
Speakers like Zig Zigler move around, squat, bend on stage to                                                                                         
occupy this "excess" time. Locally, Lawrence Chan does this                                                                                 
very well. Faking to listen is not all bad, except for the                                                                                            
fact that the speaker could ask you for your opinion, which                                                                                           
would be pretty embarrassing.                                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                      
Experts say active listening takes effort and is hard work. A                                                                                         
listener's respiration rate goes up, and the heart starts to                                                                                          
beat faster. This is one reason why people cannot keep at it                                                                                          
for a long time. I often break my speech to allow my class to                                                                                         
take three deep breaths or short three-minute breaks.                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                      
Listeners must also fight the habit of drifting away with                                                                                             
their own preoccupation, like pressing office work, quarrel                                                                                           
with spouse, etc.                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                      
You could also arrive at a lecture hall with a message                                                                                                
overload, that is, you have been listening and listening all                                                                                          
day. It would be good to take a short break all by yourself                                                                                           
before the lecture.                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                      
Body language is also important. You could freely react and                                                                                           
respond to the speaker by moving forward in your seat, nod                                                                                            
your head, smile, etc.  Constant fidgeting would just give the                                                                                        
opposite impression, that you are bored and were wishing you                                                                                          
were elsewhere.                                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                      
I recollect an officer of mine who had very good listening                                                                                            
skills; half way through the conversation she would know the                                                                                          
topic, the issue and what I was going to say. On the other                                                                                            
hand, there are many to whom one would have to repeat the                                                                                             
requests, ask questions to ascertain whether they have                                                                                                
understood the message.                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                      
There was an incident where a secretary informed us that two                                                                                          
of the organisation's officers had been involved in an air                                                                                            
crash (spoke about extensive burns). Fortunately before                                                                                               
informing the next-of-kin, the embassy and the airlines were                                                                                          
contacted, only to find out that these people were relating to                                                                                        
the lady how they had missed the air crash and burns.                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                      
There are steps a manager can take to become an effective                                                                                             
listener.  Look at the speaker in the eye, it will give one                                                                                           
focus and attention.  Look as if you are enjoying the speech,                                                                                         
by responding to the speaker, nodding or laughing at the right                                                                                        
time. sit comfortably, making sure you get a good view of the                                                                                         
speaker. Lean forward from time to time.                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                      
Avoid falling into the common Malaysian habit of asking                                                                                               
questions which had already been answered at length during the                                                                                        
speech. It will only show that you have not been paying                                                                                               
attention or are trying to make an impression.                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                      
As mentioned, use your "excess" time to think, summarise and                                                                                
compare.  Your attentive listening would put the speaker at                                                                                           
ease, which would help him deliver a better speech.                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                      
When the speaker has finished, show him your hearty                                                                                                   
appreciation. If need be, stand up while doing it. Remember,                                                                                          
one day you could be the one people are listening to.